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Super late post. I was busy with other things before I got to finish this.

On April 30 up to May 3, GCF Youth LIVE's High school camp was held at Camp Benjamin. It was my third high school camp and I have to say, it was great. I wouldn't say that it was the best for me because I've had different experiences from different camps. This was the most difficult camp I had to deal with because my close friends were going to college camp and I was stuck in high school camp. I was on my own.

When I went to the pre-camp orientation, I was surprised by the amount of new faces I saw. There were many first timers and a few third timers. My friends and I started talking about the newcomers and how we can make friends, even though there were already ice breaker activities. I had met someone new at that time but I really didn't feel like introducing myself to anyone. I thought, "I'll make friends at camp." I wasn't in the mood to meet people and being a third-time camper, I felt like I already know how to make friends. I was wrong. During the first day of camp, when we arrived at Camp Benjamin, I still didn't feel like making new friends. First, we ate lunch and as usual, the campers dispersed into their own group of friends or what I'd like to call cliques. I want to thank my friend Tanya for encouraging me to meet people. Within the first ten minutes of lunch I had already made friends with four first-timers. After that, I was tried to make friends even more.

My main struggle during the camp were the new people. I wanted to be as friendly as I could but I usually don't say anything to anyone unless I had to for an activity or they talked to me first. With the amount of first-timers, it was hard to determine if they really had a heart for God. I can't say that I did all the time during camp but my main prayer item was that all these new people really meet Him and recognize what His love has done for us.

The last night of camp was one of the most heart-breaking, tiring, energetic, pouring, and wonderful nights of my entire life. I think I wrote more than fifty letters when it was our free time. I also met people, got closer to those who I just said "hi" to, prayed, committed, and gave all I had. I was alone in the dining area for about an hour then I was later joined by my friends Kuya Mark, Robi, Jami, and Josh S. While writing, we talked about all sorts of stuff I can't remember. I got tired of writing after doing dozens of them so I included myself in Robi, Lou, and Maxine's conversation. Lou and Maxine were first timers and I liked seeing them because there were finally newer and younger people who were attending Youth after high school camp. Anyway, I at dinner with them too. Robi and I entertained the first timers in our table by asking weird questions that didn't make any sense.

Before I ate dinner, Kuya Mark called us to pray for everyone. By us, I mean those who regularly attend Youth and is a second-timer. The whole period of us just praying made me feel moved and I actually felt God working in us. I wanted to cry after we prayed but I didn't. It was probably His way of saying, "hold on, save it for later." After dinner was commitment night. We had to write down everything we wanted to surrender to God on a piece of paper with either a print of our hand or an outline of it. Another thing we had to do was print our hand on a piece of canvas and make our own hashtag. Mine was #UnworthyButSaved. We then headed to the grassy part of the venue and our buzz group leader shared their salvation story. When everyone was done, we burned our papers in a big fire. My buzz group walked back to our position and everyone sat down. I remained standing because I felt like I needed to and the grass was piercing through my leggings. I prayed for everyone. Like I said my main struggle were the new people. I prayed that they learned more about the Lord and committed their lives to Him. I stood there, staring at the fire, blurred by the tears in my eyes. Lastly, I prayed for myself. I prayed that I wouldn't let my pride control me and that I would only focus on Him.

Commitment time ended. By Youth LIVE camp tradition, Praise & Prayer time came after. The songs started slow but it immediately made me pour out everything. In between the slow songs were time for prayer. The time was cut short for the commitment period was too long. I only got to pray for four people and the last person who prayed for me was my brother, kuya Sam. That whole moment made me emotional because he's the type of person who rarely shows affection. It made me cry waterfalls and that was one of the first times he showed me his brotherly love for me. The band began playing again after that. The song they played was Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace) by Hillsong Worship. The song reminded me of what Christ did on the cross for me and how He didn't have to do it, that it was all out of love. There was a moment in the song where I literally knelt down and cried. I tried to sing but I cried so much that I couldn't sing a coherent line. The feeling of giving everything you have to the One and only is the best feeling in the world. You know that all that you're giving isn't going to waste and it gives praise to God.

It's amazing how God can work in ways we don't know. Days before camp, I tried to write my own life, considered sin as my best friend, and displeased God. I understood that life isn't going to be easy and you won't always have a spiritual high. Though even when times of trial and pain come, I can always trust on the Lord and have faith in Him because I know He'll never abandon me and He's in total control of my life.